Positive self-image

"An individual's self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change, and the choice of friends, mates and careers. It's no exaggeration to say that a strong positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success for life" - Dr. Joyce Brothers (psychologist and author)


We shape our children's image. Our children see themselves as what we say they are. Find something positive to say to your son and daughter everyday. Think hard.....surely they have some good stuff in them.

A positive self-image cannot be destroyed when it is firmly established!

Closing The Chapter

How do you break a grieving news to your children? It may be the death of a dear family member, the unexpectedly poor exam results or moving away from the neighbourhood friends again?

When is the right time and the right place? How to answer the "Whys?"

Yes, we may have chosen the right moment to break the news. Yes, we have given our best answers to the "Whys"? But, are the children satisfied? Have they come to terms with the reality? Are they able to move on?

Our children can grief, just like us. Often they are not taught and guided to overcome their grief. We need to help them close the chapters. Closing a chapter means leaving and forgiving the past, then moving forward in life.

How to close a chapter? Well, we can discover more on this i.e. if you are keen.

Sharing is NOT fun!

"I don't want to share. This is all mine."
"Sharing is fun, dear. Look, the Winnie-the-Pooh poster says so. God also says that it is more blessed to give than to receive."

The tussle above occurs to us and our children of all ages. May it be a 2-year or a 20-year old, they don't really enjoy the idea of sharing.

Honestly, I must say sharing is actually NOT that fun. There are numerous ocassions where I want to have my own Cornetto ice cream, all to myself. But, the little ones will come begging to share with me. What a bummer..I thought...I have to share, right? After or, who propagate the idea of sharing is fun in the first place? Solution.. hide at some corner to savour my favorite Cornetto or wait till they are all asleep. But then again, I will have the biggest baby (my dear hubby) asking to share too!!

Hebrews 13:16 - And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices,
God is pleased.

Taboo Words

Since young, our children were taught that....STUPID, IDIOT, DUMB...are taboo words. They would, obediently comply. They just spelled them, in case they got caught for uttering them. Are't they super angels!!??

When the older ones started schooling, they brought all those taboo words home!! STUPID, IDIOT and DUMB are shallow. They can go deeper with some 4-letter words. Their friends use them freely in school, they quote. Should they not, then?

Absolutely NOT! We have our house rules and expectations. They are expected to speak well of each other and not to put anyone down. No matter how annoying the other brother or sister can be, the taboo words are forbidden. Anger and bitterness are taught to be expressed in healthier manners.

Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of y0ur mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Words of life begins with you and I.

Take it or leave it

Johnny is never interested in eating a full meal. At the meal table, he would take a few spoonfuls and run off from the table. Then mum would go around the house ‘chasing’ after him while coaxing him with occasional bribes and threats so that he could finish the food on the plate. Sometimes this arduous task is passed to the ‘kakak’. The whole episode ends with either Johnny screaming to be spared from the food or finishing off the food 2 hours later. Familiar?

We have such “Johnny” in our family. The cane was often used to threaten him and everyone else gets agitated with us. This tactic works only for a little while. Then he repeats this prank and we get more annoyed the following times.

Thank God, we are wiser now. No more cane, no more crying. Instead we instruct this… ‘Son, either you finish off the food before leaving the table or it will be taken away once you walk off. No snacking or whatsoever after that. However if you need to leave the table for some good reason, do ask for permission before doing so.” The first time we instructed this, he disobeyed and therefore faced the consequence. We took his food away for 30 minutes. He returned and finished off his cold food after that. There wasn't much of such incident after that. That's a victory!

Take it or leave it….our children are responsible for the choices they make.

You are already a winner

Katrina and Angel were rather worried over a poem recital competition scheduled on the following Tuesday morning. On Monday night, they called their mum for some comfort.

Mum did an excellent job that night. First, she spelt out their fears and acknowledged them. Then, she said this..."My angels, before you get on that stage, believe that you are already a winner. And I believe in you."

She expects them to do their very best and then lead them to leave the result to God. Winning is not all that matters. Believing in themselves and God matters. Telling them that you still love them even if they fail matters.

On Wednesday night, the girls reported to their mum that they have succeeded in getting the 1st and 2nd position respectively. Isn't that awesome?

"You are already a winner!" Won't you say that to your child today?

Special Moments

2 months ago, we started the "Special Moments" program with our children. Each of our 4 children get a chance to spend time with us, either parent or both.

To be fair, we drew lots as to whom should be the first to have a date with the parents. Evans got it first, followed by the older brother, Emerson. Estelle was the third while Elgin was not involved with the draw. We decided that they can do anything (anything healthy!) they want for 2 to 3 hours with us on Saturdays.

Dad brought Evans to a fishing trip at the stream. I brought Emerson for McDonalds. Estelle and I had a lunch out at Tesco. As for Elgin, I spend many mornings with him alone. We had so much fun that they are asking for it again. We have agreed to do that again after the final exam period.

What is our role here? We simply listen and the children talk. Boy, they can talk and talk till the cow comes home! We don't lecture, don't criticise, don't interrupt unless necessary (super duper tough, you know). We laugh at their jokes and enjoy myself by behaving silly. Result.......they feel so special and worthy to be called children of God.

"Special Moments" is our godly love in practice.