Take it or leave it

Johnny is never interested in eating a full meal. At the meal table, he would take a few spoonfuls and run off from the table. Then mum would go around the house ‘chasing’ after him while coaxing him with occasional bribes and threats so that he could finish the food on the plate. Sometimes this arduous task is passed to the ‘kakak’. The whole episode ends with either Johnny screaming to be spared from the food or finishing off the food 2 hours later. Familiar?

We have such “Johnny” in our family. The cane was often used to threaten him and everyone else gets agitated with us. This tactic works only for a little while. Then he repeats this prank and we get more annoyed the following times.

Thank God, we are wiser now. No more cane, no more crying. Instead we instruct this… ‘Son, either you finish off the food before leaving the table or it will be taken away once you walk off. No snacking or whatsoever after that. However if you need to leave the table for some good reason, do ask for permission before doing so.” The first time we instructed this, he disobeyed and therefore faced the consequence. We took his food away for 30 minutes. He returned and finished off his cold food after that. There wasn't much of such incident after that. That's a victory!

Take it or leave it….our children are responsible for the choices they make.

You are already a winner

Katrina and Angel were rather worried over a poem recital competition scheduled on the following Tuesday morning. On Monday night, they called their mum for some comfort.

Mum did an excellent job that night. First, she spelt out their fears and acknowledged them. Then, she said this..."My angels, before you get on that stage, believe that you are already a winner. And I believe in you."

She expects them to do their very best and then lead them to leave the result to God. Winning is not all that matters. Believing in themselves and God matters. Telling them that you still love them even if they fail matters.

On Wednesday night, the girls reported to their mum that they have succeeded in getting the 1st and 2nd position respectively. Isn't that awesome?

"You are already a winner!" Won't you say that to your child today?

Special Moments

2 months ago, we started the "Special Moments" program with our children. Each of our 4 children get a chance to spend time with us, either parent or both.

To be fair, we drew lots as to whom should be the first to have a date with the parents. Evans got it first, followed by the older brother, Emerson. Estelle was the third while Elgin was not involved with the draw. We decided that they can do anything (anything healthy!) they want for 2 to 3 hours with us on Saturdays.

Dad brought Evans to a fishing trip at the stream. I brought Emerson for McDonalds. Estelle and I had a lunch out at Tesco. As for Elgin, I spend many mornings with him alone. We had so much fun that they are asking for it again. We have agreed to do that again after the final exam period.

What is our role here? We simply listen and the children talk. Boy, they can talk and talk till the cow comes home! We don't lecture, don't criticise, don't interrupt unless necessary (super duper tough, you know). We laugh at their jokes and enjoy myself by behaving silly. Result.......they feel so special and worthy to be called children of God.

"Special Moments" is our godly love in practice.

Everytime I Pray

For everytime I pray, I move the hands of God
My prayer does the things, my hands cannot do
For everytime I pray, the mountains are removed
The paths are made straight
And nations turn to You.

The above is one of my favorite songs. It gives hope and anticipation of seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It keeps me going in spite of the many ungrateful words and ugly faces from the children. Instead of feeling sulky and the "pity me, somebody", I give God the onus to change my heart. I choose to forgive them and I forgive myself.

When I am changed to be more filled with the fruits of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, my children's hearts will be changed too.

Keep P.U.S.H. ing, mums and dads. (P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Something Happen)

The 5 Senses

My husband has a peculiar way of showing affection to our children. Having to work for long hours almost daily, he sees them only when they are asleep. He would sneak into their room and smell each of them. As he smells them, he lands a soft kiss on their hair. Quirky?

This brings me to realization that we are to use our God-given 5 senses to love our children. Have you looked into your child’s eyes when he shares an old joke? Have you heard their unceasing whining, implying that “Dad, be patient with me” ? Have you tasted bitter tears rolling down her cheeks? Have you smelled his sweaty hair after a game of ‘catching’? Have you touched her with hugs and pats on the shoulder?

Consider these great gifts from God, folks. Use them wisely.